go cougs

Given that 17 out of 17 of my immediate family members are BYU grads, you can guess who I am rooting for. I'm not sure how long it will last, but I'm loving Jimmer Fever. Gooooooooo Cougars!

sisters

days of plenty

I've talked about my friend Molly before. We met when I took care of her little girl, Lucy, who choked on an apple and have since become good friends. Molly is holding a benefit concert to raise money for the Good Grief Foundation. They help families who cannot afford a headstone for their children. Molly put this on her blog today and it rang true.

I've said it before and I'll say it again--you are changing lives by supporting my organization. You know when you don't know what to say to someone who has lost a loved one? You know when you have those quiet moments of reflection when you put yourself in someone else's shoes and feel the weight of their loss? And you cry in your closet and say a prayer of thanks that your children are still with you? And you think..."I want to help, but how?" This is how. This is how all the unspoken words can be spoken and the weight of the burden you want to carry for someone else can be carried.

Even if you can't go to the concert (I'm still trying to figure out if I should take Anna or just sit this one out) you can still buy a ticket as a donation.

Putting this together has been a ton of work. Way to go, Molly. Lucy would be proud.

{If you haven't heard Lucy's story, there was a good article in the Deseret News yesterday. Read it here.}

Ella-isms

{wearing the hat and scarf because it's "storming" inside}

It seems that Ella grew up overnight when Anna was born. Lately she has been saying the funniest things. Cracks me up.

She has a calculator that she uses as her cell phone. She keeps it in her front pocket for easy access. The other day we were driving down the canyon and mid-sentence she stops and says, "Wait. Someone is calling me. I need to call them back." Turns out it was Ma Sue, and Ella let her know we were headed to see her.

She is totally picking up on things we say. Today she was playing with Anna and said, "Mom, how did baby Anna get so cute?"

While playing the other day she asked me if I wanted to wear a necklace. I said no. She replied with, "Option one is to wear the necklace. Option two is go to time out. Which do you want?"

We were eating dinner last night and she asked if we were eating 'regular' pasta. "Yep. Isn't it yummy?" "But the question is, is it regular pasta?" "Yes, it is regular pasta." "Thanks for answering my question, Mom." (I'm not sure what constitutes 'regular' pasta )

27 days

life with two...

{ella and anna, week three}

...is harder than life with one.

But worth it.

There are days when I think I'm figuring it out, and days where my only saving grace is the wonderful friends and family supporting me. I know people do it without help. Those people are stronger than me. I am deeply grateful to everyone who has taken Ella, brought meals, cleaned my house and a myriad of other kind gestures. One of my favorite quotes is by Spencer W. Kimball:

The Lord does notice us, and he watches over us. But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs.

Thank you to all those people. You have kept me sane.

In other news, tonight I cooked for the first time in a month. A new use-what's-in-your-pantry-because-it's-Sunday recipe. It was delicious. Give it a try. Chicken with Apple, Onion and Cider Sauce. My modifications: yellow onion instead of red and homemade chicken stock leftover from the Barefoot Contessa's Roasted Chicken. (But don't be too impressed. After enjoying this for lunch we had cold cereal for dinner.)

jamie's nursery

My sister Jamie put some pictures of her nursery on her blog. It looks great. Can you believe this is a New York City apartment? Shouldn't it be small and cramped?

Check it out here.

Night and Day

This is what little Anna looks like from 9ish to 1ish. Awake. She is like a teenager--loves to party all night and sleep all day. How long is it until they figure this circadian rhythm thing out?

Thankfully I am surrounded by loving support and have had lots of help with Ella so that I can try and match her wacky schedule and nap during the day. And physically/emotionally I am doing so much better this time around that I have been able to enjoy our late night rendezvous a bit...although I will be happy when they occur during the waking hours.

ella and anna, day 6

details

Anna's birth...for the books.

On Wednesday, 2 days before my due date, I saw my doctor and she stripped my membranes. I told her that my to-do list was as crossed off as it was going to get and I was ready to have this baby. Still, we scheduled a non-stress test and a c-section just in case mother nature didn't cooperate. I googled "how to induce labor naturally" and pushed on those pressure points. But I was not optimistic. Janet changed her plane ticket from Thursday to Sunday so she could be here closer to when the baby came.

Wednesday night was the much anticipated (at our house, anyway) Duke-UNC game. Ryan had been warned that watching this game came second to the birth of our child, should they coincide, but we were both happy to see the Blue Devils pull off a great win. Ryan had been sick with fever and chills and not sleeping well so after the game I told him to take an Ambien and get some rest. "What if you go into labor tonight, who will drive you to the hospital?" he said. "I really don't think I am going to go into labor tonight. Take the Ambien." "I don't think any of us know when you are going into labor." He didn't take it.

Around 11:30 I went up to bed. All day long I had been cramping more, but I thought it was probably from having my membranes stripped. A friend called and I asked her what contractions felt like, because these were a little different. "How far apart are they?" she asked. I had no idea. So I started timing (yeah, there's an app for that), and they were pretty consistently 10 min apart. I was pretty sure that this was labor, but not totally convinced and not sure how long it would be before we should go into the hospital. And then my water broke. I called Janet (at 1:50 AM) and told her to not change her ticket (too late). I woke up Ryan and called a friend who had graciously offered to stay with Ella when the time came. At this point my contractions were getting closer, 3-4 minutes apart. We grabbed the go bag and went to the hospital. I checked in and got my epidural fairly quickly. It was perfect--I could move all around but I didn't have any pain.

For the next 10 hours or so things were pretty calm. We mostly slept and waited. I was calm and happy. I had gone into labor on my own, I could hear the baby's heart beat continuously, and I wasn't having a c-section.

Around 11:00 am I began to have some pain, a "hot spot" as my nurse called it. I didn't want to mess with my perfect epidural, so I waited to see how bad it would get before I pushed the pain med button. But it was getting worse and spreading I redosed the epidural, waiting for relief. Nothing. The anesthesiologist came in and redosed me again. Still nothing. At this point I was dilated to a 10 and the contractions were really strong. The anesthesiologist came back (it had been about an hour by now) and checked my epidural. "Oh, I see what the problem is. Your catheter fell out. This only happens 1/500 times..." Given how far along I was he gave me a spinal. There went my perfect epidural. I had no pain, but I could not feel a thing and could not move. The doctor came in shortly after that and we started pushing. It was frustrating because I couldn't feel anything and had a hard time pushing. But 40 minutes later....we had our little Anna.

I am amazed at how much better I feel this time around. Night and day. Anna is a sweetheart and I am loving everything about her (except the nighttime wakenings--could do without those. Can't have it all.)

details to follow...

Baby Girl # 2

She came. She is wonderful. And I think her name is Anna. But the middle name eludes me.

Anna Elizabeth, Anna Elise or just Anna Packer. Which do you like best? Or any other suggestions? I am all
ears.

More details and pictures to follow, but here's a few they took in the hospital. Go to www.bellababyphotography.com. Password 0210annapacker. And tell me what to name her. That birth certificate paperwork is staring me down.

retraction

We have not settled on a name.

scheduled

Today I am 39 weeks and 5 days into this pregnancy. I saw my doctor today and I've progressed...to one and a half centimeter. Yahoo.

The plan is to walk a lot, drink raspberry leaf tea, work those pressure points and hope to have this baby via VBAC. But if the little one hasn't come by next Thursday at noon we are biting the bullet and doing a cesarean.

On the upside, I think we have a name picked out. Stay tuned.

the necklace

A few years ago I began coveting my friend's necklace. Her mother had given it to her as a graduation gift, and I somehow thought it was a custom design. I told her that if they ever made another batch I wanted in. "What are you talking about? She got it at Tiffany." Oh. Well, then. I mentioned it to Ryan and last year for Christmas he surprised me with said necklace.

I loved the necklace and wore it all the time. I felt like it was understated but classic and beautiful. Then one morning I couldn't find it. I was certain it would turn up and didn't think much of it. But after a few days of casual looking I began to panic. I checked everywhere I could think of. Nothing. I felt horrible not only that I had lost something I loved, but I had lost something Ryan had given me.

This Christmas I didn't feel like I could ask for any jewelry given my track record. But Ryan surprised me with a new necklace to replace my old one. He even gave me an upgrade.

On Monday I was brushing my teeth (at an odd angle to accommodate my big belly) and noticed something in the drain. I screwed the top off, and to my amazement found my necklace just sitting there!

(This picture is a recreation with another necklace. I didn't dare tempt fate with the original just for blogging purposes.)

How it managed to stay there for six months, unnoticed, is beyond me. I called Tiffany and turned my exchange into a return (I had decided I didn't need the upgrade, and luckily it hadn't shipped out yet.)

The necklace has a little tarnish on one end but really looks amazing considering where it has been. I am one lucky girl.