Anna bug

With all of the hullaballoo of Ella's diagnosis, Anna has been ever so slightly neglected. Starting with her birthday 'party.' I made a cake, but we were still new to counting carbs and it was quite the process to weigh out each ingredient for the cake, calculate how many carbs were in the entire thing, weigh Ella's piece and then calculate out how many carbs she was getting. I think we sang to her...honestly can't remember. Good thing Anna was just excited about the tiara on the cake and didn't notice much.

Another milestone in this little one's life came with her first visit to the dentist. He took one look at her teeth and asked if she was a binky lover. Yes she is. She only gets it when she is in her bed, which made bedtime and naptime a breeze. She happily would lie in her bed with her binkie. But the dentist said it was pushing her teeth and no more binkies for her. Amazingly, that was that. She listened to him and took it at face value. No more binky. She never asked for it, fussed about it or complained. But now there was no incentive to go to bed, and naptime/bedtime turned into a whole different ballgame. What was once an easy 1 minute routine turned into an hour (at least) ordeal. And the decreased sleep, combined with having a sister who had quite a bit of attention focused on her, combined with being 3, made our Anna bug not quite as sweet as she once was. Thankfully she has turned a corner recently and the meltdowns are fewer and further between. But we had a rough few months. 

One of the things she does lately that cracks me up is add the word "silly" to the end of her sentences that are directed at you. Like, "Mom, give me some more milk, silly!" Or "Mom. I need a ______, silly!" She does it so naturally that even though it is a bit rude, it is so funny it almost always makes me laugh.

Anna loves her big sister, and wants to do everything like her. I'll ask her what she wants for breakfast, or how where she wants to sit, or if she wants cheese on her sandwich, and typically the answer is "What did Ella choose?" 

I love this video of Anna figuring out "this little piggy..." The first few times she tried she did it perfectly, and as soon as I tried to video her she forgot it all. 

Hawaii, 2014 (part 3)

We got back from the hospital late Wednesday afternoon. We were all still a little shell-shocked, but Ella wanted to go to the beach, so to the beach we went. As she ran around laughing and splashing, I was amazed that already I could see a difference in her. The sparkle in her eyes was back. I hadn't noticed it was gone, but as we thought back we realized she had been difficult lately. Ryan had described her as a moody teenager, and one day she said to me, "Mom, Sometimes I try to have day where I don't whine, cry or fuss AT ALL. And then I cry and think, 'Maybe tomorrow's the day." Broke my heart when I realized that many of the times she was whiney or fussy she was just high or low. And the first night when she conked out after eating a cheeseburger, mac and cheese and fries...? It wasn't jet lag, it was a meal filled with carbs! Seeing her so, so happy made the whole diabetes pill a little easier to swallow. I felt badly for the my mom and dad who were 3,000 miles away, and didn't have Ella's newfound smile to comfort them.

While being in Hawaii when Ella was diagnosed had its perks (a shorter hospital stay, lots of distractions for her, grandparents right there) eating all of our meals at restaurants without nutritional information was challenging to say the least. Trying to guess how many carbs she was eating was really tough. Especially at the breakfast buffet. The first day we let her have whatever she wanted (if we're being honest she pretty much got whatever she wanted from the moment of her diagnosis until we went home) and her plate had something like 2 strawberries, 3 blueberries, 2 pieces of pineapple,1 small pancake, a mini yogurt, 1 piece of bacon, half a box of cereal, 1 pastry and a glass of juice. Ryan and I broke out our iPhones with various carb counting apps and tried to piece it all together. The next day I did insist that she could only choose 3 items.

This is how we looked during most meals

Ryan, Doug and I had planned on going on a helicopter tour on Thursday, but I didn't feel like I could leave Ella so Ryan and Doug went and Ella and I had a girls' day. We went to the spa and got pedicures. Ella picked out 10 different colors for her toes. Pretty cute. We had a good day hanging out at the beach and pool. Ella played, made new friends and hardly put up a fuss when she needed any diabetic cares. In fact, she started checking her own sugar and getting the insulin ready. We were all amazed at how well she handled it. She really was a rock-star.

By Thursday night we weren't quite as overwhelmed as we had been, and we were starting to enjoy Hawaii. We seriously considered extending our vacation. Ryan talked to Delta, and they couldn't have been nicer or more accommodating. But we had a hard time finding a great place to stay, and we were still not sure if it was a good idea for me to manage her diabetes without input from an endocrinologist. It was a close call, but in the end we decided to leave Friday as planned.

Ella brought a camera on this trip, and took most of our pictures. Here are a few...

Ryan brought his new helicopter, and it was a welcome distraction. He and the girls had fun flying it all over. Inevitably, multiple people would come up and want to know what it was all about. 

Many of Doug's colleague's at the conference brought Ella gifts. The Hawaiian paper dolls were a favorite.

On Friday we spent some time at the beach, and then packed up. We had some time between dropping Doug and Janet off at the airport and when our flight left, so we ate dinner and visited the Kona temple. One of the temple workers came out to greet us. He looked like a native Hawaiian, so we were surprised to find out that he was from Pleasant Grove, Utah (about 10 miles from us) and was returning home the next week. Small world.

The flight home went relatively well. We took the red-eye, and Ella slept through all of her glucose checks and insulin injections. I was fairly nervous about it all, but we made it without a hitch.

supplies

girls trying to sleep at LAX

Grandma Sue and Grandpa Paul were dying to see Ella with their own eyes and make sure she was okay. They were at our house waiting for us with groceries when we got home. I had told my mom that she was going to be shocked at how happy and spunky Ella was. I didn't take into account the toll that traveling all night would have on her, and she acted like a tired, somewhat cranky 5-year-old, leaving my mom a little doubtful that Ella was doing as well as I had said. But by Sunday she was doing great, and my mom came back down so she could see it and believe it.


All in all I felt incredibly blessed and taken care of during this week. On Wednesday night, after being back in our hotel room, I jotted down a few of the things I was grateful for so I wouldn't forget them. Here's the list I made:

Tender mercies

I am not having a baby right now* 
It was raining, so we had down time to get the labs drawn. Also, since we weren't doing anything I took a nap, which was helpful when I didn't sleep much in the hospital
Dr. Garvey was able to direct us to the lab, and change the order to stat 
Dr. Lee trained at PCMC and we knew the same people, giving me instant credibility
Not flying to Honolulu
Nurses named Penny and Sue
Pokey the flamingo who was able to help Ella cope
The kind night nurses
When Ella's sugar dropped from high 200s to 196 so we didn't have to poke her at 3 am. I prayed specifically that it would be below 200, even though the trend would suggest she had one more above 200.
Going home today
Finding string cheese sticks that she could eat without a poke
The sun coming out so we could go to the beach.
Doug and Janet being here and loving her.
Ella coping so incredibly well with the shots.
My peace and comfort.

*we had been trying to get pregnant for about a year, and if things had happened as I had hoped I would have been very very pregnant or taking care of a newborn during this time

It's funny how kids have a different perspective. Now when we talk about our trip, most of what the girls talk about are scenes like this one...playing on the beach, picking shells, swimming at the pool.  Mahalo, Hawaii, for being amazing enough to overshadow our little rough patch! We'll be back :)

Hawaii, 2014 (part 2)

Our second day was kind of rainy, so we skipped out on our plans to go on a 4-wheeling adventure. Ryan and I were sharing a room with the girls, and in those close quarters I had noticed that Ella was always asking for water and woke up a few times during the night to go to the bathroom. We had recently had her well-child visit, and she had only gained a few ounces in a year. I thought the worried Pediatrician was probably getting the better of me, but the idea of her having diabetes crossed my mind more than once. I knew I was going to continue to worry about it for the rest of the trip, and we weren't doing anything that day anyway, so I called the hotel doctor (who knew such a thing existed!) and arranged for a lab to check her urine for glucose. Throughout the 14 years I've been in medicine, there have been many times when I've worried that I (or a loved one) have some crazy disease, and it always turns out fine. So I wasn't that worried. But I did have a dream the night before that we had Ella tested and it came back positive. So I was a little on edge. But not enough to keep me from taking a long nap in the hotel after we came back from the lab.

Around 3 pm, the hotel doctor called me back to let me know that Ella's urine had 1000+ glucose in it. I immediately knew what this meant--she had Type 1 diabetes. I was alone in our room when I found out, and went across the hall to Doug and Janet's room to let everyone know. I started to break down a little as I envisioned Ella's (and our) future. One filled with carb counting, glucose checks, insulin and careful monitoring of food intake. Ryan helped bring me back to the present--one in which my little girl did not need a weepy mother. Ryan gave Ella a sweet blessing, but I was still a little overwhelmed to really hear what he said. Janet remembers him saying that Ella would grow up to be healthy and happy. I packed a bag, and Doug and Ryan and I left for the hospital. Janet stayed with Anna, which was a gift--trying to keep her entertained would have made things much harder.

On the way to the hospital I called my dad and let him know what was happening. He was at Temple Square at the time (he is in the mission presidency of the Temple Square mission) and before we even left the hotel I got these texts: "Her name is on the prayer roll at all SLC and Bountiful temples. I love you all" (from my mom) and "She has 200 sister missionaries praying for her in 45 languages" (from my dad). I truly felt those prayers. From that time forward, I was amazingly fine. I felt peace and comfort. I was able to focus on Ella in the moment, and not worry about what this diagnosis meant for the future.

First IV

So glad we brought Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Nothing like some Oompa Loompa's to keep your mind off of things 

We drove the 45 minutes to the Waiemea hospital and went through the ER. Her sugar was 415 (even though she hadn't eaten anything for hours), which confirmed the diagnosis. The ER was great and awful. The nurses (Sue and Penny--how about that!) were wonderful, but it was there that Ella realized we had to spend the night in the hospital. Up until then she thought she was getting checked out and going back to the hotel. She lost it. Crying, wailing, so so sad. Then she found out she had to get an IV, an insulin shot and her glucose checked. Not fun times. Our saving grace was a stuffed pink flamingo they gave her. I dubbed him "Pokey" and we decided that whatever they did to Ella she got to do to Pokey first. It worked like a charm, and from then on she did much much better.

Pokey

We waited on labs for a while to decide whether or not we could stay on the Big Island or had to fly to Honolulu. Thankfully we caught it early enough and Ella was not in DKA so they let us stay. I think it helped that the Pediatrician in Waiemea did her residency at Primary Children's, and we knew all of the same people. She knew I was well-trained, and trusted (rightly or wrongly!!) that I would be able to take care of Ella without getting the full 3 days of parent training. The hospital at Waiemea had a rule that minors needed to be in a room with a window  and all such rooms were full. The next best alternative was a room in the ICU. Our bed was awful (self inflating and deflating all night long) but at least the nurses were attentive!

Dad and Grandpa brought gifts--crayons, coloring books, etc.

The next day we met with the dietician and waited for our doctor to come and send us home. I called the people at Primary Children's and they gave me a mini-refresher course in diabetes care and set us up with education when we got back home. Ryan had gone back to the hotel the night before, and away from Ella the reality of it hit him hard. I don't think he slept a wink. He was dying to come back to the hospital, but had to wait for Anna to wake up and get ready, and of course she slept in. But by noon we had seen our doctor, gotten our prescriptions are were ready to high-tail it out of there.

My "notes"

This is one of Ella's favorite pictures :)

Hospital grounds. It rained the entire time we were there, and cleared up as we were leaving. 

Hawaii, 2014 (part 1)

*disclaimer--all photos were either taken by Ella or from my phone. No high quality pics here.

Ryan's dad is in charge of a medical conference in Hawaii every year, and last year we decided to take a trip with the kids that coincided with theirs. It was so much fun that we decided to do it again this year. The conference was on the Big Island, which was totally different from the other islands. It felt like Idaho, with a beautiful beach. Kind of eerie but really beautiful and cool. We arrived Sunday evening and settled in. Monday we played on the beach, flew Ryan's helicopter and swam at the pool. We ate dinner at Tommy Bahamas and Ella was OUT midway through dinner. We blamed jet-lag, and looked forward to the rest of our adventure.

Family Photo

About mid-December I decided I wanted to do a Christmas card. I knew it had no chance of getting out on time, but better late than never, right? Jamie was in town, and we took advantage. We picked what we could find from our closets, went to a neighbor's barn, and made it happen. The only problem was that it was snowing and my camera kept focusing on the snowflakes, not on us! Out of all the pictures, none were in focus.

But Jamie worked her Photoshop magic (and really, it was impressive) and made one of them passable.  And the snow made it feel more like Christmas, right? 

On Christmas Eve we went to a short devotional at our neighbor's barn (a different neighbor--there are lots of barns here in Alpine). I was convinced we could get a better shot, so I made everyone wear the same clothes and try again. The problem this time was that we were about 20 minutes too early for the good light, with somewhat impatient kids and a party waiting at home. But still, a nice shot. I had the hardest time deciding which one to use. In the end, we found a card that worked better with the snowy one, so we went with it. 

Thanks, Jamie, for making it all happen!

Christmas, 2013

Christmas this year was a family affair. We had both families in town, and divided our time down the middle. Up to December 25th at 2:00 pm was all Harman. After 2:00, all Packers. With both families, we had 25 people in and out of the house. It worked out well. On Christmas Eve all the Harmans came over for a Christmas devotional at a neighbor's barn (a tradition in our ward) a delicious dinner of steak and salmon, Christmas Bingo (with some 'premium' prizes this year) and a sleepover. Christmas is more fun with kids, and Ava, Ella, Anna and Penny did not disappoint. Ella was especially excited to get a bike, with a bell AND a basket. She asked Santa for a bike with a bell or a basket. She could not believe that she would get both. Lucky, lucky, girl. Anna asked for Pez, watercolors and a Dreamlite. She was equally pleased to have her wish granted.

The only downside was that around 8:00 am I started feeling horribly sick. Cough, congestion, can't get out of bed sick. My mom and sisters were fantastic put me to bed while they cleaned the post-Christmas and entertained the kids, just in time for Christmas part 2 with the Packers. Doug and Janet, Brad and Alisha and Greg and Lauren arrived that afternoon and Aaron and Kendra a few days later. The kids had so much fun playing with each other, their toys, and especially their Grandma and Grandpa. Unfortunately, Anna, Greg and Lauren (and a few other kids--I can't remember which ones) caught my bug, so we weren't running on a full tank. But thankfully it was spaced out enough that we never had all of us sick at once.

a sick selfie. the best kind.

Lauren, Kate, Ella and I had a fun adventure. We took the girls to lunch and to the Nutcracker. Ella LOVED it. Asked if there were other ballets that we could watch. I wasn't sure how much I would enjoy it, but it was so much fun to see the girls enchanted by the story and the music.

And for the guys, 2014 was the year of the helicopter. There were both inside and outside helicopters to be flown. Greg mastered the weave through the kitchen light fixtures. 

(look closely and you'll see a blue and a red one)

Going private...again

Recently a few of my friend's social media outlets have been violated. So I'm switching back to private. Email me if you want an invite. As long as you're not creepy, you're in. I have about 6 months of back-blogging to do, including our Hawaii trip with Ella's hospital stay...so we've got some good stuff coming down the pipe!